Fuck, just remembered another one
Me and a mate went to this all you can eat chinese restaurant last year. When we got there the waiters and the head waiter bloke (about 5 of them in total) were having a massive argument with this sligtly trampy looking customer who didn't have enough money for the meal he'd just had. He was shitfaced pissed too so he must have owed them a bit. He said something like "fnnaagh ya baasssttaaards, I'll pay youse when I get back from the bog", so off he went up to the toilet.
I was busting for a piss so I went up a minute or two later. When I opened the toilet door I was hit with the most appalling shit smell I have ever smelt, the kind that makes your eyes water. I nearly puked. The pissed trampy guy came out of a cubicle to reveal that yes indeed he had done a big stinking shit on the floor. Then he trod in it, and began walking shitty footprints around the bog. I legged it down to tell the waiters, they went racing up the stairs before he could walk it all over the place. We didn't see him come down so I would imagine they took him out the back for a kicking. Dirty fucker. But hey he probably got away with not paying for his meal